It sounds dense and dark, but it really is an act of devotion and love.
Letting your Yoga Practice die is a gift in your journey of making your Yoga come alive.
Have you felt totally uninspired to move your body and exhausted even at the thought of one more sun salutation? Have you considered being an exclusive gym girl with a trainer and drop the whole holistic approach to wellness and vibrant health and beauty of body & soul? Have you questioned everything about the depth of it all?
Well... I certainly have and still do.
Questions are life giving. No matter the realm and experience, they open a gate into what is wanting to be born, both known and unknown.
When my older son was one and a half and yoga practice was lost and transmuted into a bunch of anxious interruption vibes - since my magic boy has never quite fallen in love with deep sleeping... just now @ 11 years old he is wanting to be in bed hanging out reading... Anyway - sadhana was just a mirror into the many deaths that come with becoming a mother - even if you have always dreamed to be one!
I had always loved being with my Self in creation and healing adventures. Yoga practice at home, in nature, beach time, art, sculpt, write read, cook... and having little boyfriend increased the joy of it all and also dramatically killed the timing of it all.
I wish I had then known that the feeling of being interrupted could be shifted into a gratitude pause... It took me many years to subtly feel how my heart and mind could just tip over to the sacred side of just being and knowing yoga is not just a non-stop flow of asana and ujjayi breathing- although it is pretty blissful when possible too!
So yoga became very dim and grim and my body-soul knew there was something deeper I needed to explore. So I listened and waited and kundalini was the keyword. But not just any kundalini journey, I knew I would be guided to the one I was meant to dive deep into to rebirth. While baby napped I searched with devotion, knowing the guidance would pop up, and it finally did! A Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training 30 minutes away from home!!!!!!
All in me said YES!
I shared with Adam - my green Man and he was completely supportive and happy to play with his son while I gifted my hungry Self what it needed to return to spark.
Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan RIP , gifted me the experience of becoming cozy in the Naad- the sound of creation- and feeling how it is all about our vibration. How breath, mantra, yantra, asana, bhakti, structure and bliss are all the foundations of true peace. I got a golden present, the alchemy of transmuting our shit- physical, emotional, mental and spiritual blocks & muck- is possible if we are willing to face it an move our instrument (Body).
Fanatic at first with 3 am Sadhana and 120 day kriya practices to make them part of who I am, to making it mine with love in bed or just chanting silently the Gurmukhi life giving mantras that balance the mind and heart with only 3 minutes of repetition... I love Kundalini Yoga and it came to rebirth Yoga for me.
Everything dies. Yoga practice too. I love witnessing rebirths. Do you?
Let me know how Yoga is going for you!